Building a Godly Family in an Ungodly World
by Ken Idleman
The most important institution in time and space is the family. It is not the church, as vital and indispensable as the church is. The highest joys in life are to be experienced in the context of Christian marriage and in the process of rearing a Christian family. Perhaps this is why it is imperative that the elders who oversee and shepherd the local church are prescribed by God’s Word to be solid family men, spiritual leaders in their own households.
In 1 Timothy 3:4 the Apostle Paul writes about an overseer [elder], “He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. [If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?]” NIV
In Titus 1:6 Paul prescribes that, “An elder must be… a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.” NIV
There is a Psalm in the wisdom literature of the Old Testament that gives us some help in understanding how the home is to be built. Psalm 127 provides the general counsel we need to lead out in building a godly family in an ungodly world.
The Construction of the Home… vs. 1 - “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.” Our homes are to be built in partnership with our Heavenly Father. The home cannot be successfully built by your intuition or secular education. There are many good books on the family these days, but the best one is the Bible. Many today are holding seminars, producing material and programs… Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil are saying some good things… but the best information we will learn about the family comes from God. If you were building a physical house you would want to employ the best architect and contractor you could afford. To have a home built on the solid Rock you need a Divine blueprint, a Master Builder.
The Conservation of the Home… vs. 1 - “Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.” A city is a collection of homes/families. So God is saying, I must not only construct, but I must also protect my home. Our marriages and families need the protection of the omnipotent God in this generation. There are some destructive influences threatening Godly families:
Societies' shallow view of love - In the late 60s we began to hear the expression ‘free love.’ With the new century the bill has begun to come due in our sensually defined view of love. Abortion, the divorce rate, child neglect and abuse, homosexuality and lesbianism, pedophilia and over 50 sexually transmitted diseases are all evidence that immorality is causing us to come apart in our homes, our cities and our nation.
Societies' obsession with self - We are constantly encouraged to be self-absorbed, self-indulgent adults. Marriages and families cannot survive, let alone thrive with selfish people, especially selfish parents.
Societies' preoccupation with media - There are now more televisions than people in the average American home according to Nielsen Media Research. And there are literally hundreds of channels available from satellite and cable sources. And you must control the television - control media generally - or it will control you. Life is better with less television/computer/cell phone access and more relational interaction with family and real friends.
3. The Children of the Home… vs. 3 - “Children are a reward from the Lord.” Children are a blessing, not a burden. Children make a poor man rich. The Psalmist reminds us here of the desirability of children. But then he also impresses on us the direct-ability of children. They are like arrows that should be sharpened, straightened and pointed the right direction… then released and propelled into a God-honoring future. We direct them while we can because the day will come when they will be gone and then it will be too late. You can’t make them perfect. After all, your parents failed perfect with you and my parents failed perfect with me!
If you have tried to raise them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord and given them the benefit of your example, if you raise them in a Bible preaching/teaching church, they will be powerfully influenced by righteousness and truth. Elder marriages and families are/will be a strong witness to both the secular and faith communities.
