Joy Hunt
by Christina Bledsoe
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
Unless it isn’t.
The year 2023 has been a year of great loss for my family. In April, my dad passed away after a seizure that left him unresponsive and on life support for a week. In June, my 11-year-old dog passed away unexpectedly. In August, we lost my uncle to Parkinson’s and a dear friend to MS. And, in September we said goodbye to my son’s best friend after an 18-month battle with esophageal cancer. He was only 26.
I would be lying if I said joy is abundant right now. Typically, I love the Christmas season and delight in finding the perfect gifts, attending concerts, baking cookies, and wrapping each gift exactly right. However, I am fighting desperately to find the joy in anything this year and catch myself relating more to The Grinch than Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick. Knowing this article was due, I challenged myself to a “Joy Hunt” to identify the joy I KNEW was there.
On my “Joy Hunt” I found joy in my niece’s fascination with Christmas lights, nativity scenes and Sparkle, the elf. I felt joy mixed with grief when I unpacked my mom’s nativity scene and saw my dad’s handwriting on the box. I heard joy in the Christmas carols we sang at church and the ones I belt out alone in my car. And I experienced joy as I spent time in prayer with only Christmas tree lights illuminating my home.
My “Joy Hunt” was complete when God brought this song back to my awareness during a recent church service: Desert Song written by Brooke Ligertwood. The chorus goes like this:
All my life, in every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
I had not heard this song in years and as I sang, the tears flowed and I was reminded of Ecclesiastes 3:1: “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” God was showing me that this is a season of grief and loss, and while grief and loss do not feel good, He is still God. He is still good. He is still kind. Everything I have ever known about Him to be true is still true, and that is my reason to worship.
A life knowing God is my joy.
If this Christmas doesn’t feel like the most wonderful time of the year to you, you’re not alone. Be gentle with yourself. It’s ok to skip traditions or pass up holiday parties with a simple “Thank you for the invitation but not this year.” It’s ok to start a new tradition and for those grieving, may I suggest you visit www.holidays.griefshare.org.
My challenge to you is to embark on your own “Joy Hunt” and see what you find. Thank God for the joy you find and be honest with Him about the joy you’re missing.
Would I choose the suffering 2023 has brought? Absolutely not. But I thank God for the lessons and the promise that this world is not my home.
