Mentoring with Purpose
by Elsie Ellsworth
When I first began my elementary teaching career, my school wisely assigned an older, experienced teacher to mentor me during my first year. I still recall her humorously emphasizing the importance of teaching with a purpose or objective, sharing this wise advice: “If you do not have a purpose and plan for each class session, your students will make one for you and it will be chaos.” She was so accurate. When I taught with a purpose and a plan for how to accomplish that purpose, everyone in the classroom was so much more successful. And my teaching was so much more enjoyable. I knew where I was going and how I was going to get there.
Just as my secular school realized the value of mentoring young teachers, so should we realize the value of mentoring the next generation of young Christian women. Many young people today hunger for mentoring and thankfully our Christian community has long valued mentoring to pass the faith from one generation to the next. Christian women especially seek to carry out the mandate of Titus 2:3-4 to mentor and train young women.
Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure … (The Message)
Mentoring is more than friendship or advice. The purpose is to help younger women follow Christ and be transformed into His Image. It involves showing people how to love and serve God. Having a purpose in the relationship allows us to move in this direction. It prevents the relationship from meandering aimlessly, becoming little more than friends “hanging out.”
Although the word “mentoring” does not appear in the Bible, the Scriptures do give us numerous examples of mentoring. Jethro mentored Moses. Moses mentored Joshua and the elders of Israel. Samuel mentored Saul and David. Elijah mentored Elisha. Barnabas mentored Paul and Mark. Paul excelled in mentoring many followers. Jesus mentored His disciples. Relationships are the primary means God established for learning about and preserving His commandments (i.e. Deuteronomy 6:4-9; Matthew 22:36-40). It is a way of raising up mature Christian disciples within the Body of Christ.
As I look back over my life, I recall many wonderful older Christian women who mentored me, not necessarily in a structured way, but organically by doing life together and setting a great example of how to love and serve God. It seemed to come naturally. I appreciated the opportunity to be with these older ladies, serving and doing activities with them. One of the older ladies in our first ministry in St. Louis, “MeMa,” as everyone called her, invited us to her home on a regular basis for a meal. She was a great southern cook and had inspired several of her family members into full-time ministry. The stories she shared around the table were inspirational. In the 40 years that Tom and I served at Sherwood Oaks Christian Church, another mentor, Lois, was always there for me whenever a need arose. She set an example by faithfully serving and teaching. I have always said every minister’s wife needs a “Lois.”
Not every mentoring relationship seems to “click.” Before agreeing to a more structured mentoring relationship, these four questions may be helpful.
What do you want? What do you hope to gain through this relationship? This is a great time for clarification.
How do you want it? How can I help you? How often do you want to meet? Do you want it to be casual?
Are you interested in a particular “study?” Are there topics you would like to discuss? It is important that biblical truth is included. Many younger women already attend a Bible study and don’t want more in mentoring, but they are still open to exploring a study or Scriptures that relate to their needs, spiritual growth, or season of life.
What kind of relationship are you looking for? Shared life experiences give opportunities to connect their lives with biblical truth. It is helpful to discern how much she wants to hear from you, versus how much she wants you to listen. As a mentor, learning to listen with purpose is vital.
What a great purpose we have as older women to help younger women follow, serve, and love Christ whether in the more traditional approach or the more casual organic approach.
I’m praying it will be a rewarding relationship for both you and the one you mentor as you both grow to be more like Him!
