Minor, Major Character
by Mike Killebrew
I challenge you to look for ways to strengthen your character. Hopefully, you too can appreciate a good challenge. Sometimes getting appropriately challenged is just what I need.
Recently, I was challenged to read Jon Tyson’s book Intentional Father: A PRACTICAL GUIDE to Raise Sons of Courage and Character and as a result I simultaneously began reflecting on my parenting. This is a great read and if you are a father of a son, I’d recommend ordering a copy. It poses some appropriate challenge for me. It led me down an enjoyable path of self-reflection, contemplating what’s next in parenting my son, who is now 17 years old. I’m faced with the realization that he will soon be leaving our direct care and transition into adulthood. Wow, typing that stirs my emotions! One item that has risen to the top of my “to-do-list” with him is that of challenging him to strengthen his character – a pursuit that never should stop. We’ve been working on his character development his entire life, but now that we are in the 4th quarter of him being under our care, helping him further shape his interior world is a top priority.
I’ve started by giving him some character-building challenges. I recently invited him to meet me for coffee with the challenge, “that’s what adults do.” He doesn’t really drink coffee so I’m seeing it as a rite of passage! Regardless of the coffee joke, he has responded with enthusiasm to the challenge of joining his dad every Friday morning for a “cup of coffee” to have some father and son conversations. Here’s a preview: he’s about to face several challenges!
A Google search on the definition of character yields, “it is the combination of mental characteristics and behavior that distinguishes a person.”
I would add to that definition and say that character goes beyond mental characteristics and outward behaviors. Character is the set of inner qualities that make you who you are, it’s the core of who you are. It’s more distinct than your personality, reputation, philosophies, accomplishments, memberships, and values. Character is foundational, beyond all those things. Character is more than a collection of behaviors or good intentions; it is rather, who we are at our core. I’d suggest that as image bearers of God, our core character needs to reflect Him.
Character is who we are before God.
Our character before God matters! It matters because we know the Lord looks at the heart. In 1 Samuel 16:7, as Samuel was anointing young David, we see the Lord telling Samuel “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” We know that David famously was, “a man after God’s own heart,” (1 Samuel 13:14 and Acts 13:22) despite some of the outward behaviors of brokenness and sin.
It was one of David’s outward moments of sin that introduces one of my favorite examples of a man with strong character. While we don’t know large amounts about him, I’ve always enjoyed reading about Uriah the Hittite. The details we have are good. He was the first husband of Bathsheba. He’s a minor player in the story told in 2 Samuel 11 with the focus on King David. While we don’t know much about him, he shows major character in this story. We know the story; Uriah was a loyal soldier in Israel’s army. He refused, not once, but twice to go home when David set him up to sleep with his already-pregnant wife. David hoped to cover up his own sin. Uriah’s consideration was for the army of Israel and refused because of his faithfulness to the vows of celibacy and his pledge of loyalty to God, the King, and his fellow soldiers (1 Samuel 21:4-5). Uriah specifically tells David the reason why, “The ark (of God) and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my master Joab and my lord’s men are camped in the open fields. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and lie with my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!” (2 Samuel 11:11).
There is so much about Uriah that I appreciate and that challenges me. Uriah’s character shaprly contrasts David’s at this point. Uriah’s actions were only known because David was closely and selfishly watching. Uriah had a strong interior world, personal core values that he stuck with, even when it would have been hard. He had every opportunity and encouragement from the King to do what would have been easy, enjoyable, and perhaps logical. Instead, he had strong character. His actions matched his inner core. What was happening on the inside was strong, honorable to God and honorable to the people with whom he was serving God. It cost him his life. However, God was preparing good things. Though what happened to Bathsheba and Uriah was tragic, Bathsheba’s son would be a part of the lineage of Christ, the Savior of the world, who breaks our chains of sin and death. Uriah’s story show us that God is always at work, no matter the circumstances. Uriah’s life and character counts in God’s story.
Our character always has consequences. Regardless of what our interior world looks like, it shapes us and always finds a way out. Our character counts! Strong biblical, God-honoring character sometimes comes at a cost. Remember, Jesus tells us plainly in John 16:33 “in this world, you will have trouble.”
Everyone reading this blog is a leader, your leadership sphere is unique to you, but we all have influence. I have influence as a husband, as a dad, as a youth leader, as an elder at my church and as a peer among my friends. In every one of those places of influence, my character counts. Our character has implications. Character can never be inherited, nor does it just grow on its own. Character must be formed and cultivated with the help of God.
Are you up for a challenge? If so, pursue stronger character. It matters. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you through some self-assessment and reveal to you anything that may need to be dealt with. Reflect upon the following questions to prompt deeper introspection. I challenge you and I leave you with these questions:
Am I consciously or unconsciously trying to create the impression that I am better person than I really am? Am I a hypocrite?
Am I honest or do I exaggerate to make myself look better?
Am I trustworthy?
Does God’s Word live in me?
Am I disobeying God with anything?
Do I enjoy prayer?
Am I a slave to anything other than Jesus?
