Solitude - With Others
by Christina Bledsoe
On November 22, 2023, I was assigned to write an article on Solitude for this issue of the e2 e-newsletter. I silently chuckled because solitude is the spiritual practice I struggle with the most. I waited until the last possible moment to complete this entry and finally landed on brutal honestly. I stink at solitude.
The Christian faith promotes daily Scripture reading, devotions, and time with the Father, and I have attempted countless times to practice daily solitude. I tried first thing in the morning, but I am too distracted by the pending activities of the day. I have tried evening reading and devotions, but I am too tired. I have tried journaling and a multitude of different daily devotion books and phone apps that promise a devotion a day. Typically, I start strong on January 1 and by around January 20th my attention is gone.
I was around 40 years old when I realized my brain just does not work like other people's brains. While most people create a to-do list then complete the tasks, my brain frantically jumps from task to task, occasionally completing the task but often skipping around and adding additional tasks as I go. My brain never shuts off – ever. No, I am not exceptionally intelligent, a savant, or even artistic. I am just an anxious overthinker.
So, how does an anxious overthinker learn to practice solitude? It happens with a lot of help from a lot of people. “Solitude with people” sounds like a contradiction, right? Well, all I can do is write what I know and when I consider solitude, time alone with God, I find it best in these three ways.
Holy Yoga
Six years ago, I was introduced to Holy Yoga. It is simply the practice of yoga coupled with Scripture reading, prayer, and often, worship music. This practice has been the single most transformative activity in finding solitude. For an hour each week, I use the body God created to move and stretch and fully concentrate on HIS breath in my lungs. I have previously written about Holy Yoga, if you are interested. (Read more here: Meet Me on the Mat.)
Deepen
Each year, the church I attend offers an 8-month cohort called Deepen. A Deepen cohort consists of 6-8 women who are selected to be in a group and study a particular book or topic that changes yearly. Each month, the group is provided with a curriculum to study and discuss. For 3 years I have been blessed with a Deepen leader who has met with me one-on-one each month to pray, listen and deepen my walk with Jesus.
Spiritual Direction
A year ago, I was asked to serve as a mentee for a church member who was in school to become a Spiritual Director. I had no experience with spiritual direction but agreed to try it. What I found was an experience that allowed me to practice solitude in a unique way. Each time we meet, I am guided by the director to enter a mental place of solitude, a place where I have direct access to my Creator, be it through contemplative prayer, the prayer of examine, or various other prayer styles. Each time we meet, I feel the Holy Spirit in the room. It never fails. He always shows up.
Solitude has felt out of reach for me for most of my life. I would hear other women discuss their prayer life and time of solitude and felt I was somehow broken because I could not achieve this on my own. Although I have always felt pursued by God, I did not know where to start. By the grace of God, I have come to recognize that solitude for me looks different than the standard definition. I need others to guide me and show me the way and I am eternally grateful for the women who have invested their time to lead me to the cross.
Healing occurs when we allow ourselves the time, space, and grace
to be in the presence of God in the middle of our busy lives.
Saundra Dalton-Smith, MD
