Unity in the Family
by Christina Bledsoe
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.
Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Colossians 3:13 NLT
Listen to a country song or watch an episode of any reality tv show and it’s easy to think “at least my family isn’t that dysfunctional.” But what if your family really is that dysfunctional? Glancing back over three generations of my family, I find the following: addiction, mental illness, physical abuse, sexual abuse, corruption, abuse of power, adultery, divorce, and gas lighting.
After my parents divorced, my mom did everything possible to keep me and my two younger sisters in church. We were one of very few “broken” families involved in our church and I felt the sympathetic stares as my mom carted us to church every Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday Bible study. I was jealous of my friends with fathers who stuck around and mothers who were home baking cookies or volunteering in my classroom. I learned early that life isn’t fair. That realization gave me the determination to succeed but also planted a seed of doubt that I was worthy or capable of belonging to a healthy family.
Although I felt as if I belonged to the only dysfunctional family in town, I didn’t have to look farther than the Bible for proof that dysfunction has been around since creation. Once sin entered the world, it was a downhill slide – reality tv could borrow from the Bible and write a script no one would believe!
Cain kills his brother (Genesis 4:8)
Noah had a drinking problem (Genesis 9:24-25)
Tamar seduced her father-in-law after her husband died (Genesis 38)
King David was guilty of adultery, murder, and tolerating deadly sibling rivalry among his kids
Our family feuds are nothing new. God can use the worst choices we make to further the Kingdom. After all, Tamar is the first woman listed in the genealogy of Jesus and King David is referred to as “a man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14). If there was hope for Jacob, who is in the “Hall of Faith” (Hebrews 11:22) and the father of the 12 tribes of Israel, there is hope for each of us.
Personally, I’ve experienced God’s forgiveness in a successful second marriage and His continued faithfulness through family bonds with my stepdaughter and step-granddaughter. I’ve seen hope restored as my sons reach out to my husband, their stepfather, for advice. No matter the depths of our dysfunction, God can redeem and restore family unity when His children seek Him first.
God wants us to get along: “How wonderful, how beautiful, when brothers and sisters get along!” (Psalm 133 MSG), but even when we don’t, He can use our mess for the Kingdom.
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The family is a crucial institution. It affects everyone, for good or ill. By its very nature, it can be the place where one experiences and learns intimacy, love and growth, or it can be the place where one experiences and learns resentment, abuse and destructive behaviors.
-The New Interpreter’s Bible commentary
