Who are you going to please?

by Harold Keck

“The pursuit of happiness is a dangerous destination for any leader.”

One of the things that sets us apart as leaders is that we make decisions.  When decisions are made, very seldom is everyone happy.  We all want our opinion to matter.  However, in our postmodern, post-Christian culture our opinion becomes more than an opinion – it becomes our truth.  Consequently, people take to social media to voice their disagreement with a decision or idea.  In a church setting it goes something like this:  “Some of us are unhappy with the decision about _____.”

• Masks

• The “letting go” of the Youth Pastor

• The prefilled disposable communion cups with a wafer that tastes like Styrofoam.

You can fill in the blank, but you get the point. 

This leads to opinions, and opinions about opinions.  This poses a big problem for the leader who deals with insecurity.  (A lot of leaders do – even prideful leaders).  Leaders can morph into people pleasers.  When we need people to like us, we give up the mantle of leadership.  We balk at making hard decisions and waffle on decisions we have already made.  Ultimately, we stop leading. 

When we settle for pleasing people, we run the risk of not pleasing who matters most.  No doubt, the church is made up of people – people with opinions.  The head of the church, however, is Christ Jesus.  Our goal as leaders should always be to please Christ, not fickle people.  As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:9 “So we make it our goal to please him (Christ), whether we are at home in the body or away from it.”  Our goal should be what Christ wants for His church over trying to make everyone happy.  The pursuit of happiness is a dangerous destination for any leader.

Here are a few perils of people pleasing:

• Dissatisfaction – In the effort to make everyone happy, no one is happy.

• Comfort over Convictions – When happiness is the goal, we give up our convictions about matters and settle for peace.  We stop standing up for our beliefs, or even our theology, and settle for a fictional “happy” zone.

• Stress – Who is the leader trying to make happy?  Who has the leader’s ear?  This opens the door to all kinds of dysfunctions. Money. Power. Favorites. What a mess.  It produces turmoil and stress among the people, but especially with those who surround the leader.

People pleasing is not the goal of a good leader and it is certainly not Christ’s plan for His church.

So who are you going to please?