Who’s Talking to the Next Generation?

by Christina Bledsoe

I was a Junior in high school when the church I attended most of my childhood split.  It was ugly.  People I’d been taught to respect showed a side I could not reconcile in my teenage brain.  The pastor who baptized me left the church.  Nothing made sense.   

Our youth group was active and we had wonderful leaders who kept us busy and engaged.  But no amount of camping trips, pizza parties, or lock-ins could keep us from feeling the dark cloud that hung over our church.  No one spoke directly to us about why the pastor left or why families were leaving the church.  We were left to wonder and formulate answers on our own – never a good idea to let a teenage brain wander.  Our parent’s whispers helped us fill in the blanks, but we never really knew why the church was crumbling.  Even with a new pastor the hurt remained. 

I graduated from high school, went to college, got married and had children but only attended church sporadically over the next decade.  I never lost faith in God, but I didn’t trust religious organizations.  Why get attached to a pastor or church that may disintegrate before my eyes?   

After a difficult divorce and 4 years of being single, I married a Christian man and we began attending church together.  I loved the services – the music, the sermons, the people I met who seemed so genuine!  Over time, our church friends became like family.  My husband went on mission trips, we joined a life group, everything was great.   

Then it happened.  The senior pastor announced he was creating a succession plan and moving into another ministry season.  My heart hurt, I was anxious and nervous.  I had never been part of a church that transitioned well.  In my heart, change in leadership equated to an ending.   

True to personality, my husband was more optimistic.  He pointed out the strengths of the church: healthy elders, succession planning with no deadline, a prayerful search for a new lead pastor, and plans for the new pastor and exiting pastor to walk together for a time.  I knew leadership was strong and I knew God was at the center of the change. So, when I experienced the church’s smooth transition of lead pastors, a broken part of my teenage heart was healed.   

I write this to you as a reminder that the next generation is watching and listening.  If your church is struggling, please trust me when I tell you the children and youth notice.  As you are walking through the events, be aware that the young people of the church are also experiencing the situation.  While they may be unable to articulate the change in temperature at the church, they feel it; they know something is different.  Listen to them and watch them – their questions and reactions may be spoken or unspoken.  Talk to them.  Be open and transparent and provide age-appropriate information and assurance that church leadership is working to resolve conflict.  How you engage the youth during times of crisis will have a profound impact on how they view church going forward.   

When I hear of a church that is struggling, I instantly pray for the youth groups and their leaders.  I still mourn for the years I was away from church and thank God for leading me to a place where my heart is full, and my soul is well.