A Good Word - Forgive
by Gary Johnson
We keep score at this time of year. From Thursday night through the following Monday night, we keep score of the many football games being played in the NFL over the weekend. We not only watch the NFL, but a variety of sports and for a variety of ages – from middle school to high school to college. In each and every sporting event, a score is kept. Even within churches, a new sport is sweeping the nation. Pickleball leagues are growing popular among church attenders – and people keep score in this fast-moving game. If you have not yet played a game, give it a try. It can become addictive!
Sadly, people are keeping score in yet another way. We keep a running tab when it comes to being offended, and we live in a culture where people are easily offended. In those moments, we keep score. It happens between husbands and wives, parents, and children (of all ages), neighbors, co-workers, and among Christians. Yet, as believers, we are commanded in the Word to do just the opposite. Paul wrote that love “keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5).
Throughout 2022, we are focusing on key words to bring us encouragement and hope. In October, that word is forgive. So how do we clear the scoreboard of offense? How can we forgive when we find it difficult? Powerful insights are found in the story of Joseph, a young man who had more than a coat of many colors.
We are introduced to Joseph when he was only 17 years old (Genesis 37:2). There was a good deal of sibling rivalry in his family, even to the point of his brothers hating him (v. 8). Their hate for him was so intense, they plotted to kill him. In the heat of the moment, they changed course and threw him into an empty cistern. When traders came along, they decided to sell him into slavery (vv. 19-36). Joseph could have been seriously injured or even killed in the fall. Clearly, he was abused by his brothers.
A victim of human trafficking, Joseph became a household slave in Egypt in the home of Potiphar, a powerful man in the Pharaoh’s court. Potiphar’s wife made repeated sexual advances towards Joseph, and when he fled from her, she accused Joseph of sexual assault, which landed him in an Egyptian prison.
Once in prison, Joseph helped two cellmates interpret their dreams and both dreams were fulfilled as interpreted. With the cupbearer released from prison to wait on Pharaoh, Joseph pled with the cupbearer to speak on his behalf to gain his release from prison. But the cupbearer abandoned Joseph and he remained behind bars for two more long years.
Stop and think for a moment: Joseph was abused, accused and abandoned. The same happens today. People are abused physically, sexually, emotionally, mentally, financially, etc. People are falsely accused in a family, among friends, at work, at school, online, in the neighborhood, even at church. People are abandoned when a spouse walks out on a marriage and family, when a close friend calls it quits, when a trusted member of a staff or team finds a better opportunity elsewhere, and even when long-time members of churches leave for another congregation.
But something else can still happen today – and that is to forgive. At the age of thirty, Joseph interpreted the dreams of Pharaoh, and he suddenly was moved out of the prison and into the palace. Overnight, Joseph went from being a prisoner to a prince. He was second in the line of power in Egypt, and he could have sought revenge on his brothers, on Potiphar’s wife and the cupbearer, but he didn’t. Joseph chose to forgive – and so can we.
We learn three essentials from Joseph if we are to forgive others.
Forgiveness requires a decision. Joseph made a decision to not dwell on the past. He even named his firstborn son Manasseh, which means “God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father’s household” (Genesis 41:51). He lived with this decision the rest of his days, for when he and his brothers buried their father Jacob, his brothers feared Joseph had simply been waiting to take revenge on them. Yet, he said, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:19-20). If we are to forgive, we must make a decision to do so.
Forgiveness requires a dependency on God. We will never be able to follow through on our decision to forgive in our own strength. Joseph survived slavery and imprisonment because he learned to depend on God (i.e., “The Lord was with Joseph” Genesis 39:2,23). Moreover, both of Joseph’s sons had names that reminded him of God’s strong presence. Manasseh means “God has made me forget…” and Ephraim means “God has made me fruitful…” (Genesis 41:51-52). To forgive others, we must depend on our heavenly Father for strength to do so.
Forgiveness requires a demonstration. Not once, but twice, Joseph gave his brothers – and their families – food on which to survive when the seven years of famine came. He could have taken revenge, told them who he was, reminded them of what they had done to him – and sent them away without food to then die of starvation. But in the strength of God, Joseph demonstrated that he had forgiven them by feeding them and keeping them alive. Besides providing his brothers sustenance, he also demonstrated he'd forgiven them when he wept at finally being reconciled with them (Genesis 45:1-5). We can say that we forgive, but it needs to be backed up with our actions.
One more thing. Be sure to do the math. Joseph suffered from age 17 to 30. Thirteen prime years of his life were taken from him. Moreover, Joseph did not see his brothers for 22 years, and during those years, he could have stewed in bitterness towards them. His desire to get even could have grown uncontrollable. What about us? Are we growing more bitter with every passing day?
Hebrews 12:15 reads, “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows to cause trouble and defile many.” Don’t allow others who have offended us to miss out on the grace of God. Forgive them. When we do, we do not become bitter. We get better. We heal. Forgiveness is not only is helping to others. It helps us.
