Compassion @ Home - & Beyond
by Debbie Poer
On a recent Sunday morning I was sitting in a worship service in the home church of dear friends when I noticed an older couple sitting across the aisle from me. At first, I thought the wife had fallen asleep leaning on her husband. After observing the wife for a few moments, I realized that she has a medical issue of some type. Later when we had returned to our friends’ home, I asked about the couple and learned that she indeed has some medical issues, but in addition is suffering from a form of dementia. Her husband has been her primary care giver for a period of time.
Throughout the service she sat very still keeping her eyes closed. As I observed the two of them, I was moved by his great compassion and care for this wife. But when it came time for communion, I was moved even more. He emptied the bread from its cup into his own hand and then offered it to her, but she was unable to move her hand to accept it, so he very gently placed the bread in her mouth. Then he lifted the cup of juice to her mouth and coaxed her to partake of it, which she did without spilling a drop.
Why was I so moved? First, it was a great example of caring for one another in the “for better or for worse” part of marriage. Not only did he very tenderly serve communion to her, but afterward he sat with a protective arm around her. And after the service as I watched them leave, they were holding hands walking toward the door together.
The most stunning observation was watching them take communion and realizing that no matter what life is handing them, Jesus is part of who they are and continues to be in the midst of their marriage.
What I saw between that husband and wife brought a second thought to mind:
How do I honor my husband and our marriage?
Do I serve my husband in small ways that show him I love him like Jesus loves him?
Do I give my husband the opportunity to do small things for me that allow him to show me he loves me like Jesus does? Or do I think I need to do everything for myself?
Some time ago my husband began leaving little notes for me – in my quiet-time spot, on my pillow, in my car - reminding me how important I am to him and thanking me for the small things I do – a nice meal, clean clothes, etc. Those notes not only brighten my day, but they encourage me to be more intentional in what I do for him and how I thank him for all that he does to make our house a home.
There is a great big world out there needing to see Jesus’ compassion through the ways we serve. However, a huge difference can be made “out there” only if we begin in our own homes. When I practice compassion at home, I am beginning the work that is to be taken out into the world. I then hope when I am in public others are beneficiaries of what I have practiced at home. The ultimate outcome would be their desire to treat their family members in a similar fashion, enlarging the circle. Like baby steps ultimately lead to walking, being compassionate with those I know and love expands to showing compassion to those I don’t know, but Jesus says I am to love. And I have to believe that if enough of us practice living right at home and we take it with us when we go out, the world will be a better place.
Put on then, as God’s chosen one, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.
Colossians 3:12-13
