Embracing Solitude, Avoiding Isolation
by Chel Garrison
“I just need space.”
“I want to be alone.”
“Why can’t people just give me some quiet today?”
Those thoughts seem to permeate all of us from time to time. No matter our daily roles, or expectations, all of us need space or margin from time to time. There is research that proves “a day of rest” increases productivity and job satisfaction. (Side note: isn’t it interesting when neuroscience validates scriptural principles like sabbath rest? We serve such an incredible and creative God)
As a pastor’s wife and life coach, I often encounter individuals struggling with one of two scenarios. Either, how to find margin in their daily lives because their commitments or obligations leave them exhausted. Or the opposite feelings of loneliness, anxiety, or no community because they prefer to be alone. In discussions with individuals in both scenarios, I think there is often a misperception around solitude vs isolation. While these terms might seem similar, they carry vastly different implications for our spiritual, mental, and emotional well-being. Understanding this difference and implementing rhythms can help us to keep our eyes on Jesus, and live a deep, restorative life.
Isolation vs. Solitude: The Key Differences
Isolation is often characterized by a sense of loneliness, disconnection, and withdrawal. Unlike solitude, this is about removing yourself intentionally to avoid situations. This can be driven by fear, shame, or sin and typically leads to a feeling of emptiness, even despair. Isolation can be detrimental to our mental and spiritual health, as it cuts us off from a supportive community or intimate fellowship with God and others. We were created by God to need and desire both.
Solitude, on the other hand, is a purposeful and intentional withdrawal from the noise and busyness of life to seek God's presence and soul restoration. It is about creating the space to think, listen, and rest. Solitude is not about loneliness rather it is about finding peace and renewal in God's presence. It is a time for reflection, prayer, and listening to God's voice and rest.
The Bible offers some insights into the differences in the practice of solitude and the dangers of isolation.
Jesus frequently withdrew to solitary places to pray. Luke 5:16 says, "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." This practice was not about escaping responsibilities but removing Himself to gain restoration, strength, guidance, and time with His Father.
Proverbs 18:1 warns us, "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment." This verse highlights how isolation can lead us away from wisdom and community, making us vulnerable to the enemy looking to destroy us, as mentioned in I Peter 5:8-9.
So, what are practical ways to make sure that we are embracing the spiritual rhythm of solitude while avoiding the destructive practice of isolation?
1. Schedule Intentional times of Solitude: Just as Jesus took time to be alone with God, schedule regular moments in your day or week to withdraw from distractions. This can be a quiet room in your home, a walk-in nature, or a visit to a serene location.
2. Create a Sacred Space: Designate a specific place for your times of solitude. This could be a corner of a room with a comfortable chair, a journal, a Bible, and perhaps some candles or soft music to help set a peaceful, worshipful atmosphere. - James 4:8
3. Plan for your Solitude: Engage in prayer and meditate on God’s word. Focus on a specific scripture, reflect or journal about God’s goodness, and listen in stillness for His voice.
-Psalm 46:10
4. Stay Connected to Community: While solitude is important, ensure you remain connected to your church and community. Balance solitude with fellowship to maintain healthy relationships. Hebrews 10:25
5. Seek Accountability: Find a trusted friend or mentor who will help you stay accountable. Share your struggles and victories with them, ensuring you are not slipping into unhealthy isolation. – James 5:16
Consider two different individuals:
Jake has been feeling overwhelmed by his job and personal issues. He decides to retreat into isolation, avoiding friends, family, and church. Over time, he feels more depressed and disconnected, struggling to find joy or purpose.
Lynn, on the other hand, also faces stress but chooses to seek solitude. She sets aside 30 minutes each morning for prayer and reflection. She journals her thoughts and feels renewed strength to face her day. She keeps worship music feeding her during her workday. She also maintains regular contact with her small group at church, sharing her journey and receiving support.
Lynn’s approach shows the positive impact of solitude, fostering spiritual growth and emotional resilience. Jake’s experience highlights the pitfalls of isolation, leading to greater struggle and disconnection.
We were created by God to thrive in His presence and with others. He created the beauty of solitude to be able to hear His voice and be restored by His Spirit. Our enemy wants us isolated and alone so he can lie, steal, and destroy. We cannot give him that foothold. It is my prayer that this article will encourage you to dive deeper in the beauty and grace of solitude as a rhythm in your life. If you find yourself isolated in this season, I pray you will reach out to the believers around you and allow them into your world. You were created for seasons of solitude, not to live in isolation.
Join Chel and her colleague, Jeannie on a recent episode of The Gritty Girls Podcast as they share more on the topic of Solitude.
