Soul Care - Solitude
by Mary Elsbury
Are you a woman constantly on the go? Especially if you have children, you are probably running in 20 different directions, taking the kids to appointments, school events, soccer, gymnastics, and music lessons. Once they are squared away, you have a house to clean, meals to prepare, and life outside of the home. Your boss is calling or emailing or texting about a report that is due or a project that needs to be completed. You are exhausted and need a vacation.
One of my favorite types of vacations is to take a cruise. You have no responsibilities for a week, no meals to plan, beautiful scenery, and the ability to unplug from electronics. It gives me time to just sit, breathe in the fresh air, and think. This is my kind of solitude.
Practicing solitude involves scheduling enough uninterrupted time in a distraction-free environment so you can experience isolation and alone time with God. It permits freedom from the need to be occupied every moment of the day. Filling your days with endless tasks and appointments reminds me of a quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer: “We are so afraid of silence that we chase ourselves from one event to the next in order not to have to spend a moment alone with ourselves, in order not to have a look at ourselves in the mirror.”
I realize we can’t always take a vacation to get away from it all but we can cultivate the discipline of solitude by deliberately making space in our life. Make the time you spend in your shower every morning your alone time with God. Think about the Creator washing away the junk that has built up in your soul. Let the shower be a reminder that His living water can cleanse and nourish our bodies. Let the warm water fill you with love or the cold spray invigorate you to take on the day. Another option is while driving, turn off the radio. Ask God to simply quiet you so you can hear Him better. This time allows you to focus on your relationship with God and not about others. Maybe you like taking walks or going for a run. Take in your surroundings and enjoy God’s creation. It takes time to turn off the noise of the world, so don’t beat yourself up when thoughts of “what’s next” pop in your mind.
If we can notice the difference between what goes on in the mind and what goes on in the heart, we might eventually acknowledge that our mind is tired of trying to hold it all together, figure everything out, make something happen. The things we need most to know, solve, and figure out will be heard at the listening level where God’s Holy Spirit whispers to us. Theologian Henri Nouwen writes, “How can we possibly expect anyone to find real nurture, comfort, and consolation from a prayer life that takes the mind beyond its limits and adds one more exhausting activity to the many already scheduled ones? It seems that we find ourselves entangled in a complex network of discussions, debates, and arguments about God and ‘God-issues’ that a simple conversation with God have become practically impossible.”
Spending time in solitude with God reminds us that He is there to accept, receive, and love us – just as we are.
Interested in pursuing the spiritual discipline of solitude? Here are a few resources you might find helpful:
Invitation to Solitude and Silence by Ruth Haley Barton
The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen
A Taste of Silence by Carl Arico
