Make a Friend
by Pete Brown
Friendship is a gift from God that brings joy, support, and companionship into our lives. As Christian men, we are called to embrace friendship and foster strong connections with other believers. While our wives, children, and extended family members are undoubtedly some of our closest companions, there is a special need for other intentionally chosen male friends in our lives. Let’s explore the importance of strong friendship among Christian men and look at some tips on how to make new friends if this area poses a difficulty in your life.
The Power of Friendship.
I feel like I see 2 types of guys in the church lobby each week. First, some guys are surrounded by other guys, shaking hands, fist bumping, razzing each other a bit, asking about work/music/power tools/electronics/etc. Second, other guys look like they’re almost allergic to the first type of guy! Maybe they occupy a seat in the corner with a coffee and avoid eye contact, perhaps they rush off to “their” seat in the sanctuary so they can stare at their phone in peace. Which one of these descriptions sounds like you? Why in the world should we try to lean into being a bit more like Guy #1 and have a few buddies at church, which will hopefully turn into buddies in life?
Encouragement and Support:
In the journey of faith, we encounter various challenges, trials, and victories. Having strong friendships with other Christian men provides a support system where we can encourage and uplift one another. When we face difficult times, our friends can offer wise counsel, a listening ear, and words of affirmation that remind us of God's faithfulness. Likewise, in times of success, our friends celebrate with us, amplifying the joy we experience.
Accountability and Spiritual Growth:
Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that "iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." True friendship involves a mutual commitment to walk alongside one another in faith. Christian friends can hold us accountable, helping us stay focused on living out our faith and growing closer to God. By engaging in meaningful conversations, studying the Word together, and praying for each other, we can deepen our spiritual lives and encourage each other to pursue righteousness.
Camaraderie and Enjoyment:
Friendship also brings joy and fun into our lives. Having male friends allows us to engage in shared hobbies, sports, or activities that bring laughter and a sense of camaraderie. Together, we can find refuge in each other's company, build memories, and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. A joyful heart is a testament to the goodness of God, and friendship plays a significant role in fostering that joy.
Making New Friends
The notion of making new friends feels like such a simple concept. We encourage our kids to do it, we see other people model it around us – so why can it be so hard? Some would argue that it’s harder to make friends as you get older, so are we fighting an uphill battle or is that just an excuse to get to “your” seat and stare at your phone? Joking aside, it may be UNCOMFORTABLE to engage new people, but it isn’t hard. The same principles from kindergarten apply in the lobby, and the bitter truth is that growth requires discomfort.
Seek Common Ground:
When looking to make new friends, start by seeking out individuals who share similar interests, hobbies, or values. Engage in activities or join groups where you are likely to meet like-minded Christian men. This can include joining a men's Bible study, attending church events, or volunteering for a cause you are passionate about. Common ground provides a foundation upon which strong friendships can be built. One of my favorite strategies is to chat with church leaders (staff/elders) to help you identify guys with similar interests. They’ll know who “your people” are and should ALWAYS give you a proper introduction.
Be Open and Approachable:
Approach new social situations with an open mind and a friendly demeanor. Smile, introduce yourself, and show genuine interest in getting to know others. Don't be afraid to strike up conversations, ask questions, and actively listen. Remember, many people are also seeking new friendships and appreciate someone taking the initiative.
Be Authentic and Vulnerable:
True friendships are built on trust, and trust is established through vulnerability. Share your thoughts, struggles, and joys honestly, allowing others to see your genuine self. By being vulnerable, you create an environment where others feel safe to share their own experiences and emotions. Authenticity fosters deeper connections and paves the way for lasting friendships.
Make Time for Connection:
Friendships require time and effort to flourish. Make a conscious effort to schedule regular meetups or activities with your new friends. Whether it's grabbing coffee, going for a hike, or simply spending time together, investing in shared experiences creates lasting bonds. Prioritize these connections by setting aside dedicated time in your schedule, just as you would for other important aspects of your life.
Pray for Friendships:
Above all, pray for God's guidance in building and nurturing friendships. Ask Him to bring the right people into your life, those who will encourage you in your faith journey and challenge you to grow. Trust that God hears your prayers and will provide the companionship you need.
As Christian men, we are called to walk together in friendship, supporting, encouraging, and sharpening one another. If you find making new friends challenging, remember to seek common ground, be open and approachable, be authentic and vulnerable, make time for connection, and pray for God's guidance. If you’re an outgoing friendly fella already, try to target others that seem more introspective and isolated. Lead by example and go make a new friend yourself, or maybe challenge a peer to do so; most guys are up for some friendly competition! By investing in strong friendships, we honor God and experience the abundant blessings that come from walking together in faith. Now get out there and make a new friend this week!
