Soul Care - Friendships
by Mary Elsbury
The older I get, the more I cherish friends that are still around. Keeping those true friends is hard to do. Distance often hinders face to face contact, but emails and texting allow us to keep in touch. In those rare moments when we can sit and talk over a cup of coffee, conversations take up where we last left them.
I have been blessed with friendships that started 50+ years ago during college. When I came to know the Lord in 1972, I was fortunate enough to participate in a campus ministry at Ball State called the Campus House. Hearing about Jesus, attending services, and going on mission trips allowed me to share my life with others and learn how to be a true friend. It was shortly after I was saved that my father passed away. It was over the Christmas break and a large group of us were scheduled to attend a retreat. As I made funeral arrangements for my dad, the entire group showed up at my house and cried with me, laughed at the crazy things my dad and I used to do together, and prayed with me. We sat in silence, and they gave me strength to go on. Those friendships remain to this day.
To have strong friendships, there are a few essentials. Christian friends help us enjoy God by seeking more of Him. Sharing favorite Bible verses, studying together to see what God says on a certain topic, and praying together puts the focus and reliance on God rather than man. Romans 12:15 says “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” Sharing another’s pain isn’t something people typically want to do, but the first half of this verse can be just as unnatural. Many times, in our dog-eat-dog world, people find themselves competing with friends, sinking to envy if a companion one-ups them. In stark contrast, true friends rejoice in each other’s achievements, successes, and blessings. Each person wants the other to do well, even if it means being outshined by him or her. These friends find joy in each other’s happiness, always cheering the other on to do his or her very best.
We need people around us that know the good, the bad, and the ugly of our life. They need to rejoice with us, but they also need to speak honestly when we mess up. They can offer compassion and tell us what we don’t want to hear. If you don’t have someone that speaks into your life like that, you need to find someone to trust and respect that helps you grow.
Strong friendships form a protective hedge around you when you are weak. Maybe it’s a time of illness or a season of discouragement. Having friends that pray and encourage can give hope.
It’s not that casual or purely social friendships don’t matter; they do. If you don’t also have biblically based friendships, you are missing out. God wants us to experience friendships that inspire and encourage us to persevere and grow. And it’s a two-way street; friendships also give us the opportunity to support and enrich the lives of our friends.
My prayer is that God will continue to encourage and strengthen your friendships as you seek Him.
