Patience & Self-Control
by Leah Johnson
It has always annoyed me when people use the phrase, “The patience of Job.” To me, Job persevered! Patience means the ability to wait nicely, and Job’s situation was far from nice. Job had to persevere under some of life’s most demanding trials. When looking for a definition of patience in several sources, I found perseverance! I also found the "ability to endure difficulties," and the "ability to suppress restlessness when facing delay.” The Latin word for suffering refers not only to a patient (i.e., someone who is ill) but also to patience, waiting in hard times.
Speaking candidly, I am not a patient person. I am not patient with rude drivers, chatterboxes, and if you ask my husband, he will tell you of a host of other circumstances where I have little or no patience! I am not writing this because I have learned the secret for waiting nicely. Still, I know that I am to grow in patience, but how do I get there?
This is achieved one challenge at a time. I daresay we all have the opportunities already in our lives by which we can grow in patience. It’s how I choose to respond to these opportunities that makes all the difference. I don’t need to pray for patience for the situations are in my life now. Yet, I need to pray for the Holy Spirit to help me persevere in trying times; empowering me keep my mouth shut, to not huff and puff, to not be angry in my thinking because the Bible says if I have thought it, I have done it.
There is no magic wand to zap me, no easy steps that quickly give me the ability to respond to situations that try my patience. Being patient may not mean that I sit with my hands folded, a smile on my face, while pretending that all is fine. Being patient does mean that I am actively working on an appropriate, God-honoring response and not spewing my irritation on those around me.
For some reason, I seem to be better at the big tests, rather than the little ones. For example, I was at a friend’s house one day when her son came down the stairs to ask who had the Honda Accord parked in the driveway. He was very sheepish, deeply apologetic for having backed into it with his car. I owned up to it being my car. It didn’t bother me in the least. There were several extra cars that day in the driveway. I could see many good things out of this accident, and it truly didn’t try my soul. I was glad it was my car and not one of his nieces or nephews who were visiting too. I was also glad it was my car and not one of the other ladies. I am not married to my car, it’s simply a vehicle that gets me from point A to point B. It was fixable.
In contrast, my struggle with patience becomes very real where I volunteer at an after-school program for at-risk kids. Most days are a test of my patience because of inappropriate behavior, disrespect of people and property and general chaos created by the children we attempt to serve. I’m beginning to think I’m a part of the program for the development of MY character, not theirs. Every week is a test for me to show Jesus to them, no matter how irritated I feel.
Having patience will deepen one’s character. Proverbs 15:18 tells us, “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”
In Paul’s list of fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), I am struck by the way peace, patience, self-control, and joy are bound together. When we begin with patience and self-control, the result will be joy, which I am sure we all want. But it must start with the self-control for without that, the other three will not be experienced. I am choosing today to begin with self-control, even if it is only by praying for the Holy Spirit to take charge of my thoughts and tongue as He empowers me to be patient.
