50 Years Friends
by Debbie Poer
Several years ago, I heard a woman talking about a group of ladies she had been friends with for over 40 years. I couldn’t imagine. But then it happened – two years ago I celebrated 50 years of friendship with a group of ladies. We met at the church we attended, when the pastor and his wife decided to create a small group for “young adults,” for which we all qualified. To this day, that is how we refer to ourselves, even though our hair is a bit grayer, and we walk a bit slower. And even now, there are five of us who meet each month for lunch together.
While we no longer attend that church, each going our separate way, we have remained connected. We have encouraged and supported one another as spouses have battled cancer – some winning and some losing that battle. We have held one another up at the deaths of parents, spouses, and children. We have celebrated marriages (our own and our children), job promotions, new homes, grandchildren, and retirements. We have walked life together.
In our early years of friendship, I remember Jackie introducing me to prayer and Scripture in a new way when in casual conversation she would share what she was learning in Bible Study Fellowship, and I could see her applying it to her life.
Carol taught me it was OK to laugh at myself when one time she was dressed in a frilly apron, a baby bottle in the pocket, and a kitchen whisk in her hand, moving through the room on roller skates. What were we doing?
Cheryl is the youngest of our five-some but has had life experiences I do not begin to understand. Through her gentle spirit I have seen how even the unexpected and unplanned struggles can be redeemed and life can be filled with blessings.
When my daughter, Krista, died, Karen was there when the doctor told us the end was near. She sat vigil with us during those last hours. I remember at one point after many hours Karen pushing a McDonald’s cheeseburger in my face, telling me to unwrap it and eat it NOW.
When we each began attending different churches it was strange at first to not see one another on Sunday, but we stayed in touch. When a call went out to the group that there was a need, everyone showed up. There were group “reunions” and beyond that the five of us stayed in closer touch.
So how have we done it? How have we remained friends for so many years? That has been a question I have explored frequently over the past two years. Each time I come back to God, and Bill and Kitty.
Bill and Kitty (the pastor and his wife) invited us to become a part of that young adult group. Their idea was to study Scripture together and share life with one another. It didn’t take long for that to happen. With Bibles and study books in hand we met faithfully to dig into God’s Word and learn how to apply it to our lives. Once each year we went to a retreat center and spent in-depth time in study and fellowship. Along the way we also had fun – the frilly apron and roller skates were perhaps part of a “this is my life” skit. And there was always food – we learned to bake bread, traded recipes, and fed one another during times of illness.
Most importantly, from the very beginning our friendship had God as its foundation. All of those Scriptures we read and books we studied contained nuggets on how to be friends.
“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:11
The strength in friendship: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12, and…
Though we are all different we are united as one body in Christ (1 Corinthians 12:12- 26).
God continues to be the foundation of our friendship even today. If you were to eavesdrop on one of our lunches, at some point you would hear someone speak about a way in which God has spoken into their life since we last met or some way they have served God’s Kingdom. Through the years much has changed yet much has stayed the same. While we no longer roller skate, we pray for one another and should a need arise we are there to help carry the burden.
Yes, fifty years is a long time. For me they have been fifty precious years for which I am grateful to have had these women to walk life with.
But what about you? I pray you find a woman or a group of women to walk life with – women you can pray with and laugh with – who will see you through all of the cares and joys of life. Or if you are feeling God’s call on your life to become a “Bill and Kitty” I pray your discipling and encouraging will lead some of those women into 50-year friendships.
