Forgiveness
by Jeff Faull
Some moments are burned in our memories. Years ago, as a guest preacher in a small church in the Midwest, I was surprised (and a little irritated), when the host preacher kept whispering to me during communion. However, I have never forgotten what he told me that Sunday morning. He pointed out two elders standing together praying at the table. He informed me that a few years earlier, the one elder had accidentally backed over the young son of the other elder in the church parking lot, killing the child instantly. Yet the two men were friends, brothers, and fellow leaders, serving and partaking of the Lord’s Supper together. It was a vivid image of forgiveness that made partaking more significant that day, and it is a picture that is with me even now.
Have you ever noticed that when we teach and encourage forgiveness, we pull out the most radical examples of big-time forgiveness? Our pattern seems to be using the most dramatic true forgiveness stories we can find:
Corrie Ten Boom forgiving her captors from the concentration camps.
WWII vets forgiving the enemy pilot who shot down their plane.
Families in the courtroom tearfully forgiving their loved one’s killers.
Parents forgiving the drunk driver who maimed their child in his jail cell.
Men and women who somehow managed to forgive abductors and rapists, and others who have forgiven abusers and molesters from their youth.
The little girl in the famous napalm Vietnam photo who met one of her attackers when she was on her speaking tour, embracing him in forgiveness.
Amazing true-life forgiveness stories are endless, and we tell them repeatedly and passionately.
Yet forgiveness is often best demonstrated in small ways, with repeat offenders, in everyday give-and-take. Relationships are impossible without this. A marriage cannot last without giving and receiving forgiveness. Friendships cannot be maintained without frequent forgiveness and pardon for everyday wrongs. Healthy employees and employers cannot function without forgiveness. And certainly church staff, elder and volunteer relationships will quickly fail without a willingness to forgive.
We will not survive as church leaders, especially as elders, without forgiveness. In fact, church leadership is impossible without forgiveness. Learning to ask and receive forgiveness and learning to offer and freely give forgiveness is instructed for all believers but is indispensable for leaders.
The words of Jesus, and the example of Jesus, are powerful forgiveness motivators for those who lead in His Name.
For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. (Matthew 6:14-15)
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32)
As leaders, we have often begged, pleaded with, and encouraged people to forgive, and what happens is that some people take it seriously, forgiving huge wrongs. Others simply walk out, a little more hardened.
And the interesting thing is … people who have been wronged the most seem to take this more seriously than people who are holding on to small stuff that doesn’t really matter. We walk away saddened and frustrated and the Body of Christ suffers.
Perhaps we should simply point to the cross and let Jesus do the talking. No one ever forgave as much. No one forgives so completely. No one could serve as a better model of forgiveness. So, the secret to successful forgiving is JESUS. We are instructed to forgive one another in the same manner as the Lord has forgiven us. Listen to the One who said, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
*all Scriptures from New American Standard Bible 1995
