Stronger Home
by Gary Johnson
As I write this, I am waiting for my next flight at O’Hare. In moments like these, I’m reminded of the Willie Nelson hit On the Road Again, and I’m also reminded of the saying, “There’s no place like home.”
Home. It’s a powerful word that stirs emotion from deep within. A friend of mine was recently released from the hospital with the phrase, “You get to go home today!” Across America, college students are packing up their dorm rooms to return “home” for the summer. A few weeks ago, I made a road trip with my son and grandson to the Grand Canyon – driving nearly 3,000 miles in one week. We were glad to be “back home” after an incredible trip, averaging 540 miles a day in the car!
Yet, the thought of home does not always stir the best or warmest of emotions. For some individuals, home is a difficult place where conflict abounds. Laughter is replaced with angry voices. Sometimes helping gives way to hurting, and hurting results in wounds that are long remembered. Being selfish is the order of the day. Regretfully, family would want to be “on the road again” and far from their home.
How, then, do we experience stronger homes that draw family in time and again? How can we, in the strength of the Holy Spirit, bring healing and real happiness to a family so that “there’s no place like home” is a God-honoring reality? Allow me to suggest FOUR essentials that will build stronger homes.
H for HELP
As Christ followers, we must “live as Jesus lived” (1 John 2:6), and His life was marked by serving. Jesus said that He did not come to be served, but to serve, giving His life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45). In Acts 10:38, Jesus “went around doing good” in the power of the Holy Spirit. And do we do the same?
Sadly, our culture is more focused on being served rather than to do the serving. Our multi-billion-dollar service industry fuels our consumer mindsets, and consumer-thinking has even infiltrated the American Church. People are prone to think of what the church is going to do for them, and if their needs/wants are not met, individuals will find a church that will. A cancerous consumerism is metastasizing in marriages and families, with individuals wanting—even demanding—a helping hand instead of them doing the helping.
What if we began each day by saying to our spouse, our children, our parents, our siblings, “How can I HELP you today? Anything you need done?” Chick-Fil-A doesn’t have a monopoly on service. Homes will be stronger when we ask, “How may I help you?”
O for OTHERS
While reading through the Gospels, it is easy to see how Jesus focused on others, time and again. For example, knowing of the spiritual needs in their lives, Jesus initiated conversation with a Samaritan woman at a well (John 4:7) and with the tax collector, Zacchaeus (Luke 19:5). Even during His final six hours of life while on the cross, Jesus focused on forgiving the soldiers impaling Him (Luke 23:34), caring for the needs of His mother (John 19:26-27), and welcoming a condemned thief into heaven (Luke 23:43). Moreover, when Jesus saw broken, hurting people, He had compassion on them (Matthew 9:36), a word that means Jesus experienced empathy for the needs of others.
Are other family members in our sightline? Do we focus on others and their needs? The Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippian Christians, “Do nothing out of selfish or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only after your own interests, but also after the interest of others” (Philippians 2:3-4). How often and to what degree do we look to the needs of others in our family? Strong homes display real concern for others who live under the same roof.
M for MEDIATE
One of the many names of Jesus is Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6), and rightly so because Jesus came to make peace between sinful humankind and our most holy God. Paul wrote, “Since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus” (Romans 5:1). Moreover, Jesus preached “Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9).
When tensions rise in a family (and they will), we need mediators! When family members make the first move to restore peace, we resemble God, the Father and are called His children. Paul even wrote that we, as children of God, have been given the “ministry of reconciliation” and are “Christ’s ambassadors” (2 Corinthians 5:18,20). Like ambassadors within the family, we work to reconcile those in conflict with one another. Stronger homes have mediators.
E for ENJOY
Simply put, find time to enjoy one another. Create moments of laughter. Life at home needs to be punctuated with fun. Jesus was described as “filled with joy through the Spirit” (Luke 10:21). Are we? As well, I believe Jesus had a sense of humor. After His resurrection, Jesus appeared to His disciples while they were fishing on the Sea of Galilee. Being early in the morning and about 100 yards from the shore, they didn’t recognize Him. He called to them, saying, “Throw your nets on the other side of the boat,” and sure enough – the nets were filled with fish. John knew immediately who the stranger was on shore as he exclaimed, “It’s the Lord!” (John 21:1-7) Jesus played a practical joke on His friends.
Do we have fun? Does laughter punctuate the quiet at home? During our 45 years of marriage, Leah and I enjoy being together when we are home. Whether working in the yard together or on a project, we enjoy being within earshot of each other. Over the years, we have come to enjoy a few card and box games that we play every evening when we are home. After playing a game, we pop some popcorn, and enjoy watching British murder mysteries on Britbox. We try to solve the crime before the show gives us the answer. Our simple evenings provide us with simple, satisfying enjoyment with one another. And how about you? How does your family enjoy time together? Stronger homes know how to enjoy each others’ company..
To get physically stronger, we must make an effort and exercise. And the same is true to build stronger homes. Let’s get busy and work up a sweat.
