The Way to a Stronger Home
by Laura Harrigan
Through the years, our family has lived in 5 houses, some fairly old, some we built new. The house we had when we lived in Florida had to be strong enough to withstand possible hurricanes. And while brick, mortar, and reinforced walls might make a strong house, it does not guarantee a strong HOME.
My husband and I are recent empty nesters, which means we have had time to evaluate how we did raising our kids … as if we actually finished … very funny! When I look back at our 18 years of having our children in our home, I’m certain there are things we could have done better and I’m confident, by God’s grace, there are things we did well. But I believe the practice that helped us and continues to help us build a “stronger home” is prayer.
From the time our children were born until they moved out to go to college, whenever possible, my husband and I met them in their rooms before we went to bed to chat about their day and pray with them. Sometimes we would pray, sometimes they would pray. Some nights we were all exhausted and it was short and sweet. Some nights we thanked God for laughter. Other times, during more difficult seasons, our prayers were literal cries for help. The main thing is we made it a point to pray every night before bed.
But prayer wasn’t just a bedtime routine. As a mom, I tried to follow the command in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 to “pray continually” - all throughout the day, every single day. While I was doing dishes, picking up toys, driving in the car to pick them up from an event, folding clothes…all the time, I was talking to God, listening for wisdom, lifting my family up in prayer, and especially calling out to God for help!
Philippians 4:6-7 says (emphasis added), Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
The peace of God … that sounds nice doesn’t it? Isn’t genuine peace something we all long for? If you’re married you know relationships aren’t easy. And having kids just raises the stakes and the anxiety. I remember feeling so overwhelmed with our first newborn in the house and I wish I could say it just got easier as they got older. Anyone who says it does is lying. Looking back, there were so many days when I just wanted a little peace and I couldn’t get there alone. I knew I needed God’s help, not just for peace, but for a stronger home. So, after many years of trying to do it on my own, I learned this practice of turning it all over to Him and asking for His help and trusting in His promise to bring peace.
Did I do this perfectly? Of course not. Were there times when I completely lost my cool and blew up at my kids? Yes! Did I have to ask my children for forgiveness? Many, many times. But like Paul wrote to the Philippian church, day after day, in every situation, through prayer and petition I sought God and He granted peace … not a peace that everything was gonna work out the way I wanted, but a peace that guarded my heart and our home.
I also prayed for fruit … the fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23 over my family. I wanted to model those traits and see them evident in our home: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
I often struggled with inner feelings of anger at my children when they made wrong choices or rebelled in some way that challenged my authority. I guess I know how God feels when we rebel. But as I continued to pray for the fruit of the Spirit to be fully present in my life, I found that I started to do better with seeing my children the way God sees them and dealing with them in a more Spirit-filled way.
While there are many factors that go into making a stronger home, I wonder how much difference it would make if we stepped up our commitment to prayer.
Do you find yourself emotionally exhausted at the end of the day?
Are you frustrated and angry with other members of your family?
Do you attempt to solve family problems by yelling, or the silent treatment?
What just isn’t working in your family?
Only God can help! How do we make our homes stronger? Invite God in - all day, every day, twenty-four seven, three hundred and sixty-five days a year. Claim the power of the Holy Spirit in your life by asking God daily to bless you with the fruit of the Spirit. Pray individually. Pray as a family. Pray with each child separately. Pray with your spouse. Begin your day with God. End your day with God. Invite Him into every conversation, every situation, every mundane task. He wants to be present in every part of your family’s life. He will make your family and your home stronger.
